As per popular request (well, it was only one person, but they requested strongly), I am finally getting around to posting something of substance from my recent solitude retreat…
So, pretty much everyone knows I am a “do” machine. In some ways, it’s ok – it’s how I am wired. In some other ways, it’s a sickness, driving me to always set to task, sometimes simply to accomplish ANYTHING. As I’ve wrestled with separating myself from what I do, I have come to learn a lot about myself. One thing I have come to realize is that I desire to not define myself by what I do. Rather, I want what I do to flow from who I am. See the important distinction?
Henri Nouwen says that believing “I am what I do” is one of the three main things that keeps us from believing we are God’s beloved. So, instead of accepting that God loves us, we strive to prove and earn God’s love by accomplishing for His sake.
Oddly, I don’t believe this lie because of what anyone else says. It’s not that I hear friends, family, or coworkers telling me i must DO. No, it is ME that says that – much more difficult to counteract! And, I logically know this isn’t true. But, the untruth lies embedded deep in my heart, resistant to being rooted out.
So dear readers, what do I do? How can I embrace the truth that I am God’s beloved simply because He loves me? I need not earn this love. I don’t have to prove my “lovability” – to God or anyone else. I have some thoughts, which I will share. But waht would you suggest? Again, I don’t need Bible verses. I know those – at least in my mind