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May 19, 2013

Tag: solitude

April 14, 2008

I do what I am (I am not what I do)

by arthurstewart — Categories: Arthur, God, heart journey, Henri Nouwen, solitude — Tags: , , , , , , 3 Comments

As per popular request (well, it was only one person, but they requested strongly), I am finally getting around to posting something of substance from my recent solitude retreat…

So, pretty much everyone knows I am a “do” machine.  In some ways, it’s ok – it’s how I am wired.  In some other ways, it’s a sickness, driving me to always set to task, sometimes simply to accomplish ANYTHING.  As I’ve wrestled with separating myself from what I do, I have come to learn a lot about myself.  One thing I have come to realize is that I desire to not define myself by what I do.  Rather, I want what I do to flow from who I am.  See the important distinction?

Henri Nouwen says that believing “I am what I do” is one of the three main things that keeps us from believing we are God’s beloved.  So, instead of accepting that God loves us, we strive to prove and earn God’s love by accomplishing for His sake.

Oddly, I don’t believe this lie because of what anyone else says.  It’s not that I hear friends, family, or coworkers telling me i must DO.  No, it is ME that says that – much more difficult to counteract!  And, I logically know this isn’t true.  But, the untruth lies embedded deep in my heart, resistant to being rooted out.

So dear readers, what do I do?  How can I embrace the truth that I am God’s beloved simply because He loves me?   I need not earn this love.  I don’t have to prove my “lovability” – to God or anyone else.  I have some thoughts, which I will share.  But waht would you suggest?  Again, I don’t need Bible verses.  I know those – at least in my mind ;)

April 11, 2008

reactions to solitude

by arthurstewart — Categories: Arthur, God, solitude — Tags: , , Leave a comment

Sometimes I forget that many of the things we do in NieuCommunities, though completely normal to us, are out of the ordinary for others – even other Christians.   Case in point: solitude retreats.

We find it absolutely necessary to make time to be alone with God.  Some like to spend this time in silence.  Others like to process.  Some need a walk in the woods.  Whether you are introverted or extroverted, you need time alone with God – to listen, to talk, to dream.

While this is true for everyone, there are some things about our life that makes it particularly important:

  • living in community
  • being in a cross-cultural setting
  • the overwhelming amount of physical need around us

We all pretty much agree on the importance of solitude. But apparently, others haven’t integrated this into their normal rhythm.  This is evidenced by the general state of anxiety most people live in AND two of the reactions I got as I told people I was taking a retreat for the weekend.

Response 1: “I hope you find what you are looking for.” [well, time with God...]
Response 2: “What are you trying to run away from?” [people???]

Actually, just trying to get some concentrated with God.  Is that so strange???

April 9, 2008

Solitude Retreat – the place

by arthurstewart — Categories: Arthur, God, solitude — Tags: , , Leave a comment

Last weekend, I took a 2-day solitude retreat.  My hopes were to be alone, have some quiet, read, pray, and think. I plan to write a bit about what/how God was speaking, but thought I would start this set of posts by telling you about the place.  It all begins with a story…

Near the end of 2005, two of our apprentices discovered a souvenir shop near the Hartbeespoort Dam.  This is the area that we go to and take others for African souvenirs.  But, many don’t like the hassle of bartering, standing in the sun for hours, etc.  So, this shop that Deric & Amber found seemed like a God-send.  It’s is owned and run by a family.  They take credit cards.  They have a building.  They have EVERYTHING.

If you have bought souvenirs while being with us over the past few years, you have been to Just Africa.  We’ve developed a good relationship with the family, particularly me with the husband, Asharaf.  They’ve given us really great deals, particularly because we come in so often and sometimes buy in bulk (like the drums for the recent NieuCommunities Conference).  They’ve even returned items that our shoppers have left at their store (sweaters, journals) on previous trips.

Asharaf and I have been talking for a while about having lunch together.  Then, the last time I was in the shop, he mentioned that he had bought another house, and if I even needed a place to stay, let him know.  So, when I needed a place to stay for this retreat, I called him and he said yes!

So, that’s where I stayed Friday – Sunday.  I wish I had taken my camera, because it was great.  Not fancy great, but ideal for a retreat.  It’s surrounded by trees and there is a herd of springbok who saunter buy several times per day.  Also, it was semi-furnished: table & chairs, kitchen stuff, beds, etc.  But, bare enough to save me from distractions.  And, it’s in one of my favourite nearby out-of-town spots – Hartbeespoort.

Thank God for friends with extra houses :)   More on the retreat itself in the next few days…

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