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May 22, 2013

Tag: God

January 24, 2011

Meek – one of those Bible words we use without really thinking about

by arthurstewart — Categories: Bible, God — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. (Matthew 5:5)

Who are the meek again?
When I hear that word, I think mild (meek & mild always go together, right?), gentle, simple.

A friend was asking me today what that meant, and I decided to look up the word as it is used in the New Testament.

Put into our alphabet, the word translated as meek is praus [prah-ooce].  The concordance defines this word as “mild, gentle.”  The word study goes on to say, “this difficult to translate root means more than “meek.” Biblical meekness is not weakness but rather refers to exercising God’s strength under his control – i.e. demonstrating power without undue harshness.” In other words, meek as we use it in modern english is not the best translation for the word.  However, that second definition (which I think I have heard elsewhere) is not very accurate for the greek word as used in the New Testament. It sounds great theologically, but is it correct?

This word occurs 4 times in the New Testament. The first is the passage I started with. Matthew 5:5 – “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.”  We’ll come back to that. So looking at the other passages to see what “meek” means…

1 Peter 3:4 is talking about a wife’s true beauty, which comes from the inner self, the unfading beauty of a praus and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.  In other words, this characteristic is an inner one (as opposed to simply an outward action). Inner strength. That helps a little bit, the the next two really help.

I think the other two passages in the New Testament that use this term are a little more helpful, and both are spoken by  Jesus.  In Matthew 11:29, Jesus uses this term about himself. “Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am praus and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. I take your burdens, I labor with you, I help when it is difficult.  And then in Matthew 21:5, Jesus is instructing his disciples to get a donkey for his ride into Jerusalem. Quoting Zechariah, “see, your king comes to you, praus and riding on a donkey”… on his way toward the cross.  Again, Jesus is willingly taking difficulty upon himself.

This word praus, which we translate as “meek” does not mean wimpy or anything of the sort.  Rather, it is adjective describing one who labors, suffers, and endures without making a fuss. It is Jesus offering to bear our burdens.  It is Jesus riding to his own death. Blessed are those who are praus!  Of course, this also make sense Jesus gives in Matthew 5:5 to those who are like this.  They will inherit the earth. Who gets an inheritance? One who waits.  One who lives. One who does what needs to be done now, knowing that only later will they get their  greatest reward.

I don’t think this implies any sort of passivity. Rather, is carries the meaning of trusting God to make things right, and faithfully enduring trials.  Not giving in, not giving up. But knowing that even if things don’t seem perfect right now, they will come right.

March 11, 2010

Seeking the Giver

by arthurstewart — Categories: Arthur, God, marriage, Melissa, prayer, South Africa — Tags: , , , , , 2 Comments

My wife Melissa is demonstrating an amazing amount of maturity these days.  I am both in awe and frustrated!  Here’s why…

As many of you know, we are finishing up our sabbatical.  Entering our last months, we are making multiple decisions – big ones, small ones, and many that open up a multitude of other decisions. These decisions relate to where we will be, what we will be doing, when… little things like that :)   So, important stuff.

And the PROCESS of these discussions and decisions is as telling as the results.  We are giving some of the work we and God have been doing in our lives and marriage a pretty good exercise.  How is our intimacy, how is our trust, can we say what we think, can we hear things we don’t like from one another, can we apologize?

I have to admit, I am a little more anxious than Melissa to get these conversations and decisions happening.  And although I wish we knew everything yesterday, I am proud that she is committed to waiting until she is confident in some things before moving forward.  Frustrated a bit, but proud.  She is bringing her strengths of thoughtfulness and discernment to our shared process.  And as I was telling a friend on the phone the other day, in watching her process I am reminded of a very good maxim… Seek the Giver.

back-story: when I was growing up in church, one of the principles that always came up when talking about spiritual gifts (those ways God supernaturally empowers people to serve) was, “don’t seek the gifts, but the gift-giver.”  In other words, don’t get overly-fixated on these specific gifts God can give (essentially a self-centered approach). Instead, seek God, and let His Spirit give gifts as God deems appropriate (see 1 Corinthians 12).

This came to mind as I was saying how one of the ways Melissa is discerning God’s desire is by being involved in a local Bible study on Jesus.  She isn’t only sitting with God and asking, “should we move to X?” every day.   Instead, she is connecting well with God, for the sake of their relationship alone.  I’m pretty confident that as she does, God is and will speak to those specifics because God loves her and knows they are important questions.

Thank you beloved for this reminder.  So glad to be doing this with you!

January 20, 2010

In Between

by arthurstewart — Categories: Arthur, God, heart journey, Kingdom of God, sabbatical — Tags: , , , , , 1 Comment

I’m learning to live better in the time/space between… aka “now.”  This is a strange place for me.  I tend to clarify and plan for what is ahead, then move toward that.  “Without a vision, the people perish.”  Generally, this is an acceptable practice.  However, I find that I can be too focused on what lies ahead, ignoring or minimizing the present (especially when it doesn’t fit with the future I see).  Further, it is easy for people to become secondary to plans.  Never my intention, but too common when I get so focused on the future that  achieving it becomes my only aim.

Part of what makes my sabbatical so good for me is the necessity to live in the now.  Yes, this time will end and we will move into the next season soon enough.  And yes, we will have to do certain things – even make a few plans – to begin the next adventure.  But for now, I am living where I am.  Spending lots of times with my wife and kids.  Seeing friends.  Reading.  Resting.  Getting caught up.  I believe all this and more will indeed prepare me for what’s next.  But I’m not doing all this SIMPLY TO GET READY, as if this is only a means to an end.  It is all good for what it is.

Hear me – I’m not just biding my time or waiting until something better comes along.  I am enjoying each day for what it is.  True, it’s not my dream place or situation.  But there is so much I CAN enjoy.  I am reminded of when Jesus ascended to heaven in Acts 1 and his disciples were looking into the sky where he had disappeared.  Two men in white (angels?) appeared to them and said, “men of Galilee, why do you stand here looking into the sky?”  In other words, get on with life.  Not because Jesus isn’t coming back.  He is.  But there’s a lot of life to be had in the meantime.  Don’t just wait around for the future to arrive.

Every day matters:

  • a habit can change
  • a word can lift someone’s spirits
  • an accident can be prevented
  • something big can be accomplished
  • decisions can be made that affect everything else
  • a million moments take place that will never come again

God wants us to live now.  Yes, there’s forever too.  But it doesn’t start when we die.  It’s starts now.

January 11, 2010

Out with the old, in with the new

by arthurstewart — Categories: Arthur, God, heart journey, sabbatical — Tags: , , , , 1 Comment

Doing anything new with the start of 2010?  On one level, I am looking at this year as an opportunity to start everything new…. moving to a new city, loving my wife and children as if for the first time, new ministry.  But on the very specific level, I am committing to read the Bible through again during the year.

I am severely restricting the making of new plans for my life because I generally do that too much.  I make plans.  I have sets of plans, often overlapping.  I have so many plans that I take a stab at several and succeed at few.  And they are all good plans!  Then I feel bad that I am not following through with all my good plans…

Furthermore, I am realizing how much I lean toward always adding new things, never stopping negative things.  I have a friend who says that all of life is starting some things while stopping others.  The Bible describes this as putting off and putting on (Ephesians 4).  I like the putting on part – fits with planning.  Problem is, you can’t keep adding and adding without making room AND getting rid of the stuff you don’t want.  It’s like having a bucket with some sediment in the bottom, and thinking that if you keep adding more and more of what you want, it will push the bad stuff out.  It doesn’t work that way though!  You have to get that crap out – my mechanic calls this a system flush.  You can’t just keep adding radiator fluid.  At some point, you have to clean out the whole system to eliminate the dregs.

I know this, but I don’t do it enough.  I need to.  In a way, this is one of the things God is doing in my life during this sabbatical – helping me clean out all the junk.  Not just adding new good stuff, but doing the hard work of rooting/tearing out what needs to go.  Sometimes painful – yes.  But cleansing and good.  I think this is one aspect of “working out your salvation” as the Apostle Paul calls it (Philippians 2).  There is work to be done – work of making ourselves available to our loving God to change us.  And often this change means getting rid of the things that get between us, Him, and our destiny.

I see it with my children more easily than myself.  I can see what they need to stop doing in order to start doing the better thing.  I am learning to better identify this in myself, and respond to others who help me to do the same.  I am sad that this doesn’t come more naturally for me, or that I don’t more readily embrace the input of others.  God has put so many people into my life that can aid in the process, and I still seem to resist at times.  But I am growing.

I am also facing the disconcerting (frightening?) truth that the great joy in life I have always craved doesn’t come through my schemes, but through a much more simple, humble, unassuming life.  This would seem to require cleaning house, wouldn’t it?  So for now, this is what I am committed to.  Yes, God has put a few pictures into my mind, and I am excited about what is ahead.  But I am holding these loosely and avoiding working out all the specifics…. at least for now ;)

December 31, 2009

I love this book: “It’s Really All About God: Reflections of a Muslim Atheist Jewish Christian” by Samir Selmanovic

by arthurstewart — Categories: Arthur, books, God, heart journey — Tags: , , , , 1 Comment

Due to my self-imposed ban on new book purchases and my family’s voracious reading appetite and therefore constant trips to the library, I decided to look up some books from my Amazon wish list on the Fresno County Public Library’s website.  I scored on this one – It’s Really All About God: Reflections of a Muslim Atheist Jewish Christian by Samir Selmanovic.  This book was published in September 2009 and I just got to read it for free from the library!  I have to tell you, I liked it so much I am going to buy it.

I will spare you a book-report-style summary except to say the book relates the author’s journey of faith, focusing especially on family, culture (he is originally from Croatia), and religion.  Each of these are significant and Selmanovic weaves these throughout his book so well that I can only ask that you read the book to hear his heart for and in each.  We also find the postmodern pillars of the call to embrace God and honestly face our uncertainty at the same time, not making our own religion an idol in place of the God our religion follows, and the value each religion can bring when we enter into meaningful dialogue.  While these are no longer revolutionary ideas to me, the author does a good job of providing relevant story and insight to these fundamental concepts.  You’ll have to read the book for all this good stuff.

The 2 parts that I DO want to talk more about are areas that have challenged my own heart.

The first is a fundamental question to my faith (and I suppose all others), but one that we spend too little time attending to, or answer too quickly.  Q: What was Jesus promising to his followers?  If you’ve been involved in this Christianity thing for a while, you recognize that your answer to this question might differ from what you first believed (or were taught.  When you read Jesus, he talks about being without a home, seeing disruption in the state of our relationships, being persecuted…The author says it this way of Jesus… “Follow me and you might be happy – or you might not.  Follow me and you might be empowered – or you might not.  Follow me and you might have the answers – or you might not.  Follow me and you might be better off – or you might not.  If you follow me you might be worse off in every way you use to measure life.  Follow me nevertheless.  Because I have an offer that is worth giving up everything you have” (p. 210).  My experience would agree with Selmonovic’s reading of Jesus’ call.  What does Jesus say we will get from following him?  Learning to love well.

Would you trade everything in exchange for learning to love?  I am haunted by this question for several reasons.  First, I do not love as well as I would like.  If that is the point, what have I been doing instead?  Not that doing it perfectly is the validation, but it should at least be a main focus.  Loving God, loving my wife, my kids, those I am responsible for, those I work with, the needy right in front of me.  There is no shortage of opportunity!  Do I see each person as an opportunity to learn to love? AND, am I helping others in the same pursuit?  Are my means of discipleship, training, mentoring, or simply relating actually helping others learn to love well????

I want this to be true – more true of my life.  I feel like I am on this path, especially right now during our time of Sabbatical.  What does it mean to remain on this path regardless of place, job, or other responsibilities?  What I love about this call is that it deals with life now.  My focus is not on a reward that comes later.  Rather, it has affect on my life, and the lives of others, now.  I need this.

The second part of the book that relates quite a bit to some of what God is teaching me concerns how we go about “doing.”  This is very significant to me as I learn to separate my sense of value, being loved, and identity from what I accomplish.  In a sense, it’s basic and I would espouse and teach that.  But I am only BEGINNING to truly believe and live by this truth.  The author, also a vocational minister, relates that ever since becoming a Christian, he has been taught to give, love, minister, care.  This is what we are supposed to do, right?  So, he asks, why isn’t this working?  “Since we have been teaching and acting in our Christian churches to love others and to organize others and to organize our lives to love others, how curious, I thought, that polls report that non-Christians perceive Christians as not loving!  How can that possibly be?” (p. 240).  His answer speaks right to me.  We don’t really love because we don’t know how to receive.  In other words, we are not willing to let others affect us, especially in areas (like about God) that matter.  We like to give because givers are in control.  We bless because blessers are in control.  “To receive, on the other hand, means to lose something.  Everyone wants to teach and no one wants to learn.”

For me, I can only be in a position to receive when I don’t equate my value with what I do.  How could I?  If what I know, accomplish, and teach is what gives me my identity, how could I possibly take myself out of the driver’s seat?  And so, as I am learning (again) who I am (and am not), I can be with you and just be.  I can hear.  I can learn.  I can change.  Heck, I can RELATE without trying to fix you.  I want that, and am pretty sure that you do too.  So, when I am with you, I give you permission to check that.  Am I with you, or just trying to “help” you?  I feel like God is really teaching/changing me.  I hope you experience me more this way and invite you to let me know how I am doing.

November 28, 2009

Advent Week 1 / November 29

by arthurstewart — Categories: advent, God — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Yes, just under the wire… something to use tomorrow for the start of Advent!  I hope you can use this simple exercise to help you focus on Jesus during this season.  Feel free to share with anyone and do it by yourself, with friends or family, at church, etc.  I will have something for the subsequent weeks of Advent and Christmas Eve/Day available next week.

Intro

I was looking for something fresh for Advent this year.  I appreciate the themes, characters, and traditions that we remember year after year.  They are all very helpful in preparing ourselves for Christ’s coming.  But I find that these can sometimes lose their impact due to the repetition and overly-simplistic way we are lead to remember them.  They just don’t seem to speak to our longing for Jesus in the real world.  Also, I am struck by how often we create our own expectations of God and sometimes forget to see what is on His heart.  As we prepare for the birth of Jesus, it is a good time to align our hopes with His.

So, I created something new.  It’s actual a pretty simple set of Advent-sessions, centered around a central text, some reflection, a [hopefully] fun activity, and prayer.  I’ve left out nearly any explanation or “teaching” because I believe this forces us to think and sit with God ourselves.  Also, because I got unbelievably sick just days before having this ready to launch, I haven’t spent ANY time making it look pretty.  Sorry – no formatting, pictures, etc.  Just some stripped-down thoughts that I hope you find helpful.

The reading comes from Isaiah 61, a wonderful prophetic passage about what the Messiah would fulfill at his coming.  It was a source of great hope for the Jewish people through times of war and tribulation.  The pictures of restoration and beauty – things made right – continue to inspire people around the globe for what is yet to completely come.  This passage was famously quoted by Jesus in Luke 4, where he followed the traditional reading of scripture in the synagogue by declaring that today, in him, this Scripture had come true.  And so began this new chapter in God’s plan of redemption.  I thought this scripture on the in-breaking of God’s Kingdom, something I still long to see completed, would be appropriate to focus on during this Advent.

I would love any feedback, especially how it is significant for you during this Advent season.  I’m a big fan of sharing stories – real, honest, and hopefully encouraging to one another.  There are LOTS of people who are seeking Jesus this Advent season.  Maybe our stories will help one another on this journey.

This week: Sunday, November 29

What you need

4 candles that are the same color (for the four weeks of Advent’s expectation of Jesus), 1 candle that is a different color (representing Christ, the fulfillment)
Bonus points if you can keep them in the same space over the next weeks, preferably somewhere you can see them and be reminded of your commitment to focus on Jesus this season.

Begin

Light one of the 4 similar candles as you begin.  Keep it lit throughout your time, and you may re-light it throughout the week if you set aside special time for prayer.

Say a prayer to focus your attention on Jesus and asking Him to meet you during this time.

Read

Isaiah 61:1-3
If you prefer, you may read all of Isaiah 61, then re-read/focus on verses 1-3

Think

Many are mentioned in these few verses that benefit from the Anointed One.  We so easily think of the poor, brokenhearted, prisoners, and those who mourn in general terms.  The problem is, this often causes us to think of God’s promise to them/us in general terms as well.  “Jesus will do good things for lots of people.”  Boring.

  • Stop for a moment and read again who is mentioned here – write them down.
  • And, what is promised for them?  Write that down too.

If you’re like me, wouldn’t you LOVE to see God’s hand at work in these ways for those mentioned here?

Do

Go and look for some of the people mentioned in this passage.  Maybe you know some personally.  Perhaps, because of time and circumstances, you can’t physically go look right now.  If so, watch the news, read the paper, or even jump on the internet.  Pretty sure you will find some people like we are talking about.
The point is that God is talking about REAL people, people with names, people all around us.  Who are they?

  • If possible, place a picture or name on a piece of paper by your Advent candles to remind you to pray throughout the week.

Pray

Pray that Jesus would do now what God said he came for.  Pray with faces and names in mind.  You might be able to pray with people, but it’s ok if you simply pray on their behalf.
You can also use this time for any other special prayers you have right now.

In the upcoming week

Continue to pray for those God brought to mind, and keep looking for others.
You might set aside a specific time each day for these special Advent prayers.

July 1, 2009

Why Care for the Environment

by arthurstewart — Categories: Arthur, Blogs we read, Culture, God, NieuCommunities — Tags: , , Leave a comment

other than the obvious, we live on the planet, so need it to actually function….

thanks to Melanie for sharing this with our community yesterday.  simple, direct, not too long :)

June 12, 2009

Sewing Love

by arthurstewart — Categories: Arthur, Kids — Tags: , , , , 5 Comments

I think I may have actually got it right with my daughter yesterday.  Mairin (age 5) was home from school sick.  She was busy playing dress up and I was getting some things ready for lunch.  I walked into the living room and she was about to cut the ankle ties from one of her pretend ballet shoes because she couldn’t get it to tie correctly.  I stopped her and showed her another way to tie the shoe, bringing a smile.  I asked if she wanted me to tie her other shoe, but she said no, holding it behind her back….somewhat suspiciously.  I asked again, she said no again, so I went back to the kitchen.

She then came into the kitchen to show me that she had put her other shoe on herself.  “Can you help me tie this one?, she asked.  I bent over to tie the shoe and the ribbon came off on my hand. “I cut it off, but I glued it back on.”  Ummm, well obviously you DIDN’T glue it back on, because it is in my hand.  I could feel the anger rising up in me.  First, because she had cut apart her shoe.  Marin tends to make permanent decisions like this on the spot.  Second, she had hidden the fact that she had done this when I asked her.

So here I am, doubly angry at my daughter.  I say something along the lines of, “Mairin, you CAN’T cut up your things.  You’ve ruined your shoe.  The tie doesn’t work anymore.  I can’t fix this for you.  Why do you do this to your things?”  And I’m wondering, what else do I say, what do I do?  And she looks at me with these sad eyes.  Not, “I’ve been caught” eyes, but sad.  Sad for disappointing me.  Wondering what I will do in response.

And I realize, what else do I need to say?  She knows she messed up her shoe – why tell her again?  Is heaing condemnation on her going to change her bahoavior, or just make her feel bad about herself and further from me?  And actually, yes, I can (maybe) fix this.  So I stopped myself.  I had her give me her shoe.  I went and got our sewing kit.  I toid her that I thought I could fix it, sat down next to her, and started sewing.  [note: I did a bit of needlepoint as an adolescent - dont ask].  As I did, we talked, she organized some of her things, and I fixed her shoe.

Neither of us left the scene angry at the other.  When I finished, she said, “thank you daddy,” and gave me a hug.  I helped her put on and tie her shoe.

This is not meant as a yeah me.  It’s much more of a PRAISE GOD I think I got it right.  And as much as it reflects what God is teaching me about parenting and expressing love, it has all the more to do with my understanding of His love for me.  He does not condemn me, His beloved child.  He does not heap shame on me when I do wrong.  I don’t need to hide, or try to cover up my failing.  He loves me and fixes it.  And it makes me love Him all the more.

May I know this in my heart, believe it to be true for me, and share this same love with others.  May we all….

June 9, 2009

Mr. Bosch, I hope you are right…

I am aware that in choosing to link my blog posts to facebook, when I write something it drops the first few lines to my fb posts.  Consequently, I should really come up with something much more compelling to get you to keep reading than this: A couple of thoughts from my reading of Transforming Mission by David Bosch – chapter 6: The Missionary Paradigm in the Eastern Church [patristic era] ;)

First, I should begin by saying that I am part of an awesome reading group – all practitioners and thinkers who are really wrestling with the challenging ideas Bosch presents.  Every time we meet, our discussions are always personal and meaningful, never purely philosophical.  Yes!  As such, no need to give  abook report of the chapter.  Rather, just want to offer a few thoughts on two quotes/idea from this particular chapter on the Church’s thoughts on mission in the Greek Patristic era.  They aren’t necessarily even major points of the section, but ones that jumped out at me.  Can’t wait to hear what Tom has to say on this chpater, as this era is where he has been studying.

“In the final analysis, it was not the miracles of the itinerant evangelists and wandering monks that impressed the populace – miracle workers were a familiar phenomenon in the ancient world – but the exemplary lives of ordinary Christians” (p. 191, referencing Kretschmar).

Is this true, or do I just want it to be?  I DO believe that the greatest witness is a transformed life.  But where we live, miracle workers sure do get a lot of press, and there are plenty to go around.  I suppose part of the argument is that miracles draw crowds, but changed lives keep them coming.  But what about revolutions?  Isn’t there always some spark – generally a person or a few people – who exemplify, demonstrate, and propagate something new?  To be fair Bosch continues to spell out what these changed lives looked like and how this was so counter cultural at the time that people couldn’t help but notice.

Maybe that’s the better measure – lives transformed not just to “good” – but to radically different from and prophetic to – the culture around us.  I can get behind that.  Sadly, when we envision a life changed by Jesus, it is generally so pedestrian that I don’t think many people notice at all.  I don’t mean that we all have to become John the Baptist types, but I do think we have exceptionally low understanding and expectation for the life God would hope for us… that He has made possible for us…. that could indeed transform our world.

Are you with me people?

Second quote:

“…For a while, the church had to forfeit its opportunity for rapid growth ; it devoted its time and energy to finding clarity on crucial theological issues and to consolidating internally” (p. 200).

Hmmmm.  Can it be that all those eras of Church history that I look on with disdain, the ones where we spent more time arguing with ourselves than extending God’s love to anyone else, might have actually been necessary?  Granted, Bosch is not justifying all the crapola in Church history.  But he does give me reason to pause and drop some of my judgmental attitude.  I do believe in seasons of rest, rhythms of life – maybe that applies [and should/must apply] to the Church itself?

Case in point – the Church today.  Are we still seriously arguing about the rapture, emerging church, and original sin?  Yes we are.  And I have so little time for it.  BUT, maybe we’re in one of those times of regrouping.  Makes sense.  We’ve come off a long run of being the big influence in culture and are now faced with our loss of voice.  I don’t think anyone still tries to argue that we are in the middle of massive paradigm shift.  Everything is changing.  So, maybe we do need to get our act together.  I still don’t think that means endless arguments over trivia to the neglect of partnering with God’s Kingdom, but maybe it’s not that either/or.  And MAYBE we actually do need to get it together to address whatever our world will look like tomorrow.  Not the message, but certainly how it is presented lived.

That’s a beauty of Bosch’s work.  He makes such a good case that the Church has indeed approached mission (and it’s own self-understanding) quite differently over the ages.  No need to fear change, or think we are being unfaithful to the Church of the ages.  Rather, this is how God has always worked, and presumably will continue.

How will we respond?

May your life be transformed today, even if it means resting a bit.  I find that sometimes, this is when God does the most work in us.

April 12, 2009

The Holy Week Storm

by arthurstewart — Categories: Arthur, God, prayer — Tags: , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

I am cautious to identify too closely with Jesus (at least in writing).  Though I theologically believe we absolutely are meant to connect with Jesus – one could argue a primary purpose for his time on earth was to live the life we are meant to live – I know it makes some people a little nervous.  “Yes, but that was JESUS.”  Or, “You think you are suffering, think of Jesus…”  Yes.  Agreed.  But do you ever read his story and say to yourself, “I know exactly what that’s like”?  This has been one of those weeks.

Let me back up about 40 days.  Entering Lent, I really wanted to slow things down to make more time for prayer.  So, I adjusted my schedule and very intentionally went about some specific practices that I find helpful.  In general, this has been good.  I HAVE had more time for prayer.  I HAVE had good time with God, learned quite a bit, and generally feel alright about where we’re at.

But the rest of life seems to have become increasingly beyond my control.  I’ve been frustrated in slipping behind on much of what I’d like to get done.  I feel pulled in too many directions.  I’m even stuck in determining which roles and responsibilities are most important.  This past week, I pretty much hit the wall.  Fortunately, I had opportunity to talk with some friends about how I was feeling and determined to NOT grab too tight on the reins.  That’s what I do when I get stressed out – I spend at least 5 hours  reorganizing my schedule and adjusting my responsibilities to gain a sense of control.

Partially by volition and partially by circumstances, I didn’t do that this week.  Instead, I took a quick look at my to-do list, determined what was most important/had to happen, and did it.  Yes, I was still aware of all the things I wasn’t doing and probably wouldn’t get to.  I wish I could say I just put those all out of my mind.  But God was gracious with me in His strange way and kept me occupied with things enough that I couldn’t dwell on everything else too much.

Then, as we got to the later part of the week, I was hearing from others around me that they were feeling the same way.  Interesting, I thought this was MY problem.  Then I thought back to last year at this time and realized that I pretty much felt the same way then.  AND, so did others around me.  Now, part of this has to do with our NieuCommunities cycle.  This is the time of the year when life and commitments really begin to pick up.  On top of that, relationships within our community are reaching those interesting points of diving into conflict.  Further, we do a couple extra things for Holy Week, so the schedule also has a bit more than normal.  Overall, this leads to a busy feel about life.

Thank God for the aforementioned Holy Week.  On Friday morning I couldn’t help but think of Jesus and the week he was having!  Talk about having a few things going on around you.   Truly, my situations pale in comparison to what he was facing.  Did he feel out of control (like me)?  People everywhere, last days, big decisions, struggle.  How did he do it?

Enter the Holy Spirit.  The comforter, burning fire, whispering wind.  Jesus, I think, was in control to the extent of letting the Holy Spirit guide.  Does that make sense?  Jesus wasn’t OUT of control in the sense of being some God-controlled robot or simpleton.  BUT, he did listen and willingly allow God’s Spirit to show him what was best.  I think it was actually an upside-down show of strength [of character] to NOT force his own will, to not hold onto the reins too tightly.  He chose to trust God and blow the way of the Spirit.  Not my will, but yours be done…

To live neither in full control, nor out of control, but guided by the Spirit.  This is what I need.  To be in step with God’s Spirit anywhere near as much as Jesus was would be crazy, right?  And amazing.  I wonder if there’s also not a strange peace in that place?  I’d like to know, even a bit.  Holy Spirit, take me there – I need you to take me there.

O Lord, I have come to you for protection;
don’t let me be disgraced.
Save me, for you do what is right.
Turn your ear to listen to me;
rescue me quickly.
Be my rock of protection,
a fortress where I will be safe.
You are my rock and my fortress.
For the honor of your name, lead me out of this danger.
Pull me from the trap my enemies set for me,
for I find protection in you alone.
I entrust my spirit into your hand.
Rescue me, Lord, for you are a faithful God.

-Psalm 31:1-5

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