Stewart 5

A heart is a fascinating thing -
It can be hard or strong or bitter.
It can be tender or soft or generous.
it can be several (or all?) of these at the same time!

Do you also find hearts to be complex, mysterious, even confusing?  Certainly true when it comes to others.  Often true when it comes to ourselves…  What I do know is that my heart is important.  It’s the core of who I am and it’s the only one I’ve got.  In the Biblical book of Proverbs, it says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” (4:23).  I’m learning to do this.

Most of my life, I have guarded my mind.  I have fed it, trusted it, protected it.  This is a very important part of who I am.  However, I have often neglected my heart as a result.  In a way, I have not allowed my heart to do it’s job.  And, I haven’t guarded it well.  I don’t think “guard your heart” means to build walls around it.  Guard, in that case, sounds defensive and reactionary.  Seems like if you do that, it can’t be “the wellspring of life.”  How can a well nourish anything if it’s all walled up?  I am speaking from a bit of experience on this…

Rather, I think that in this case, “guard” really means to watch and protect.  Watch and protect your heart, for your life flows from there.  Watch for the things that would harm your heart – people, situations, etc.  In my case, I have been reflecting on the untrue things I sometimes believe that “attack” my heart.  And, how can I prepare myself better to deal with them?  Personally, I need to remember who I am so I am not easily affected by other messages that come my way and can be ok with my own limitations.

Hearts are precious.  I think they are a primary way we reflect the God who created us, and are the places we most deeply connect with God.  We have given our lives to helping people find/uncover/unbind their hearts and encouraging their development and expression.  That’s not a bad way to describe what we’ve been doing the past several years in South Africa and why we are preparing to head back.  It’s also what our sabbatical has been all about: reconnecting with our own hearts and giving them room to breathe and re-ignite.  I thank God for this opportunity to focus on this all-important process.

We appreciate all of you who have prayed and encouraged our hearts so much in this season.  Our hearts, and those of our children, feel more healthy.  These eternal hearts are important to me and to God.  Your heart is important too.  Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

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My wife Melissa is demonstrating an amazing amount of maturity these days.  I am both in awe and frustrated!  Here’s why…

As many of you know, we are finishing up our sabbatical.  Entering our last months, we are making multiple decisions – big ones, small ones, and many that open up a multitude of other decisions. These decisions relate to where we will be, what we will be doing, when… little things like that   So, important stuff.

And the PROCESS of these discussions and decisions is as telling as the results.  We are giving some of the work we and God have been doing in our lives and marriage a pretty good exercise.  How is our intimacy, how is our trust, can we say what we think, can we hear things we don’t like from one another, can we apologize?

I have to admit, I am a little more anxious than Melissa to get these conversations and decisions happening.  And although I wish we knew everything yesterday, I am proud that she is committed to waiting until she is confident in some things before moving forward.  Frustrated a bit, but proud.  She is bringing her strengths of thoughtfulness and discernment to our shared process.  And as I was telling a friend on the phone the other day, in watching her process I am reminded of a very good maxim… Seek the Giver.

back-story: when I was growing up in church, one of the principles that always came up when talking about spiritual gifts (those ways God supernaturally empowers people to serve) was, “don’t seek the gifts, but the gift-giver.”  In other words, don’t get overly-fixated on these specific gifts God can give (essentially a self-centered approach). Instead, seek God, and let His Spirit give gifts as God deems appropriate (see 1 Corinthians 12).

This came to mind as I was saying how one of the ways Melissa is discerning God’s desire is by being involved in a local Bible study on Jesus.  She isn’t only sitting with God and asking, “should we move to X?” every day.   Instead, she is connecting well with God, for the sake of their relationship alone.  I’m pretty confident that as she does, God is and will speak to those specifics because God loves her and knows they are important questions.

Thank you beloved for this reminder.  So glad to be doing this with you!

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Melissa and I have never been one of those couples who consistently spend time praying together each evening.  Don’t panic!  Yes, we pray – together and alone… often.  But it’s never been a scheduled every day practice for us.  Anyone else out there in this category??

It’s been one of those areas that both of us have wanted to change.  And for years we’ve talked about it, tried all sorts of different ideas, and remained frustrated with ourselves that we couldn’t do what we actually wanted.  However, like a lot of other areas in our lives and relationship, we’re taking advantage of our sabbatical to make a change.  Change takes time to sink in, but it requires us to make consistent decisions one day at a time.

During Lent (the Church season leading up to Easter), we are committing to doing a short meditation together each evening.  We are using a resource produced by Church Resource Ministries (our missions organization).  We think this will help us establish a new rhythm, a new habit, that we want to be part of our lives.

If you are like me, it’s easy to over-plan, over-commit, and give up too soon.  That’s why I like having something we are both excited about that is do-able.  Wondering if you have things you would like to be [more] part of your life?  Doesn’t have to be something spiritual.  Can you start with something small like we are?  Would love to encourage you any way we can, so feel free to send us a message and let us know!

btw, if you are interested in CRM’s Lent devotional, you can signup online to receive the daily reflections via email here – http://www.crmleaders.org/lent/

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Woman of my dreams-

beautiful

strong

dependable

fun

faithful

godly

loving.

Happy birthday darling Melissa.

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Tomorrow, Melissa and I are going to Victoria Falls to celebrate our 15th anniversary!  It’s a little early (our anniversary is the 15th), but some scheduling things meant that we needed to go now.  With everything we’ve had going on lately, the timing is just right.  So looking forward to being together, without the kids and much to do but have fun, rest, and take in the beauty.  It’s been too long.  Pray for us for the next few days and I’ll post more when we get back.

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I’ve signed onto ColorofChange’s open-letter calling out McCain and Palin. ColorOfChange.org will publish it this week, and as they’ve shown in the past, when enough of us stand together, we can force the mainstream media to amplify our message. Will you join us?

excerpt from letter:
In the last few weeks, Senator McCain and Governor Palin, rhetoric at your campaign events has taken an increasingly dangerous tone that seems to ignore the precarious state of our progress when it comes to race and ethnicity. Supporters at your rallies and other events have used hateful language and called for violence against Sen. Obama yelling “kill him!” “off with his head!” and “bomb Obama.”

We urge you to join people of conscience from all races and backgrounds to reject the politics of division and fear, and come together to uplift the country and create a more equal and just society.

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So, I received TWO Official Absentee Ballots in the mail yesterday. Should I vote twice and send them both? They will catch that and only count one, right? I’m not so sure though, because I am surprised that I received to two ballots, so can I trust them to only count one vote?

AND, do I go ahead and vote now or do I wait to see if anything new unfolds in the seemingly never-ending drama that is The US Presidential Election splashed across Fwd:emails, blogs, and Yahoo?

This will be the first time I am voting by absentee ballot. After I “Completely fill in the oval next to your candidate or issue….using dark ink” I must place my ballot in the Official Election Mail envelope and sign the declaration on the back otherwise my vote is invalid. The Declaration of Voter includes much of what you’d expect, I am a U.S. citizen, at least 18 years of age, temporarily residing outside of the U.S., blah, blah, blah, and then, “I have not been influenced.” I can’t sign my name to that and as a matter of fact who can? We have all been influenced! I think they must mean threatened, coerced, or intimidated, as indicated on another info document included in my official ballot packet. Which, by the way, is a felony.

I do wonder how some of the Fwd: emails, blogs, news articles, commercials, etc. are not considered coercion, intimidation and threatening. The law must be talking about physically rather than emotionally? Cause I must say that some of the stuff I read feels abusive. Not abusive to me personally, but abusive to REAL persons- Joe, John, Sarah and Barack.

Hmmm, anyway, just thinking about influence…

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I love you.

Looking forward to sharing this next year with you – I think it will be the best one yet…

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This week our community is practicing the spiritual discipline of fasting. While reading Richard J. Foster’s chapter on fasting from his book, The Celebration of Discipline, I was struck by the following: “Fasting reminds us that we are sustained ‘by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God’ (Matt. 4:4). Food does not sustain us; God sustains us. In Christ, ‘All things hold together’ (Col. 1:17). Therefore, in experiences of fasting we are not so much abstaining from food as we are feasting on the word of God. Fasting is feasting!” (page 55).

Here are my initial reflections…
God, through His Word, gives Life. Food sustains my physical body while Christ sustains my soul. I feed my physical body at regular intervals throughout the day. I give both time and money to purchasing and preparing what I will eat. Why do I give so much attention to my body and so little to the sustenance of my soul? Most days my soul gets a few scraps of time and often nothing at all. Could it be that outwardly I am well fed while inwardly I starve?

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On May 10th, 23 CRM staff women travelled from 11 countries around the world for the second of three “Women of Influence” gatherings. This time we met up in Millstatt, Austria at Schloss Heroldeck Castle. Both the time traveling to/thru Austria and my time with God and the other women was AMAZING! The scenery was beautiful and truly sang God’s glory. His gentle hand guided me each day providing abundant opportunity to hear and respond to His voice. His Spirit shaped and rejuvenated my soul!

I was the grateful recipient of the generous hospitality of the CRM worship/logistics team and the castle staff (who prepared and cleaned up after all of our healthy and delicious meals)! The Spirit infused teaching and conversation time with peers and mentors was stimulating and life-giving. It was a refreshing time to step back and reflect with God and others on all the roles I give myself to- child of God, daughter, wife, mom, co-worker, mentor, and friend.

I’ve come home with Kingdom breathed vision and enthusiasm for each of these roles as I continue to move toward necessary balance among them! Some words that endure in my heart and mind since my time in Austria: REST…TRUST…BEAUTY…NURTURE…FAITHFUL LOVE

And, a special THANK YOU to each of you who contributed financially to provide me with this opportunity which will undoubtedly bless and benefit all those I minister to both inside and outside of my home!

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