Stewart 5

Tonight, we worshiped with people from South Africa, Zimbabwe, Unites States, and Canada. Our focus was on God’s Kingdom - sharing pictures, scripture, and song. In a very real sense, our time together was indeed a manifestation of God’s ways in action. It was beautiful.

One of the women from Zimbabwe prayed thanking God that we could gather in safety tonight - something that most of us take for granted.

I am reminded of how Jesus is the one who died to make us all free. May we remember him today as we celebrate our freedom.

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just wanted to let everyone know I am still fasting from alcohol. what have i learned?

1. I am not an alcoholic. i really haven’t had any, “I wish i could have a drink” moments. this is significant given my family history.
2. i don’t drink that many different things. so, cutting out beer, wine, etc. has really limited my choices, especially at meals.
3. it’s weird to be with people who ARE drinking when you are not.
4. don’t start fasting without an end in mind ;P when do i drink again? pick some random day? wait for God to be REALLY specific? My friend Andrew did this and ended up not drinking for 5 years. interestingly enough, i don’t feel at all compelled to start again.

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This past weekend, our NCSA leadership team took our annual retreat. This time away, we did something quite different from past retreats…. we did pottery. We all went to the home/studio of a married couple who are local pottery artists. Basically, we ate, did pottery, and rested. It was a great weekend - being together, having fun, relaxing.

Of course, God seems to have taught me several things at the same time. This morning during a reflection time, I realized that one of the things God is speaking to me was captured so well in a picture from our weekend.

When you do pottery using a wheel, the first and most important thing to do is center the clay. If you don’t do this properly, you can not make a piece. Period. Because the clay is spinning on a wheel, any unevenness or off-centered-ness results in either a lopsided piece, or it will simply fly off the wheel because of uneven weight. Literally. I’ve seen it happen

To center clay, there is only one thing you must do - push with the heel of your left hand. You push diagonally: away from you and left to right. This works with the spinning of the wheel to put the piece in the center.

All weekend, I struggled with this one step. Why? Because I never wanted to push too hard. So, I continually had to ask the instructor to come and help. He patiently put his hands on mine, and reminded me to push - hard. And of course, with his hands there on mine, the clay went right to center. And when it is there, you can feel it - it’s just right. Then, the fun of creating pottery begins.

Why don’t i push hard enough? Ironically, this is question God and I are discussing. Why don’t I ask hard questions more often? Why don’t I express my feelings, particularly when I am upset? My general approach is to do/say/give as little as possible to get the job done. I suppose I don’t want to overdo it. The problem is, 8 times out of 10, I UNDER do it instead. And then things aren’t centered.

You have to push…hard. of course, I don’t take this to mean I should be rude or overbearing. I still must be listening to God and loving. But I am learning - slowly - that you can do these AND push hard. And when you do it right, when things are centered, beautiful things can be created. Apparently, God really wants me to learn this lesson, because He is giving me ample opportunity to practice.

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I stopped drinking at the end of April. At least for a while.

Why?

1. I really felt God was asking me to. Beyond any particular reason or explanation, I’ve had this growing sense that I must.
2. I have sensed that God is wanting to do something significant - in me? through me?  Perhaps this is a bit of physical fast to reinforce the spiritual - a time of preparation
3. I don’t want to miss ANYTHING - good conversation with a friend, opportunity to hear or see God, etc.- because I’ve been drinking. Although I never drink all that much anyway, I’d hate for that to be the reason I miss something
4. Sometimes I look at people who have been drinking (either too much or too often), and wonder, “Am I like that?” Again, don’t think so, but I’d hate for someone to get a wrong impression or be turned off by that
5. A fair amount of our community drinks, and I guess I want to lead the way in moderation in this area.

The thing is, drinking isn’t wrong. But it sure is easily abused. And because this isn’t a black and white issue, it gets a little complicated when it comes to “how much.”

• When exactly has someone had too much too drink?
• When is someone drinking too often?

I often don’t know when it comes to someone else. I’m concerned that too many of us can’t answer these questions for ourselves.

Perhaps a bit of what God wants to teach me is self-control, discernment, and moderation. I don’t anticipate this is a permanent stop, and don’t actually have a plan to end. I guess I’m counting on God indicating it’s ok to drink again as strongly as He told me to stop.

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responding to the crises in Zim, and the resulting influx of refugees here in SA, we are:

• connecting with, learning from, and sharing resources with like-hearted people around us, especially in Pretoria
• helping others understand the reality of these refugees, knowing their stories, knowing their names
• opening our home for refugees
• asking everyone to consider housing refugees - providing safe and caring environments - Church, here’s an opportunity to love
• praying for peace in Zim and for God to care for all of those in need

Join us! This is just the basic idea of what we feel God is saying to us. Please pray for us and the people of Zimbabwe. We all need God’s love and power.

When an alien lives with you in your land, do not mistreat him. The alien living with you must be treated as one of your native-born. Love him as yourself, for you were aliens in Egypt. I am the LORD your God.

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God, may you pour out your Spirit today in Zimbabwe like you did in Jerusalem all those years ago.

Freedom.  Power.  Fire.  Wind.  Gospel in every tongue. Kingdom coming.

We are your witnesses in Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.

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I’ve got a plan for nearly everything.  I guess because I’m full of ideas, fairly capable, and have lots of freedom to put them into action.

The problem is that I’ve got a plan for everything. And in that, I don’t always let God speak, move, act.  I’m not relying on God enough.

So I throw myself at God, asking for help.  Do in me what I can’t.  Use what you’ve gifted me with, but don’t let me take too much control.  Show me where I am weak- where I can’t do it myself - and help me.

I need you God.

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I arise today
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,
Through the belief in the threeness,
Through the confession of the oneness
Of the Creator of Creation.

I arise today
Through the strength of Christ’s birth with his baptism,
Through the strength of his crucifixion with his burial,
Through the strength of his resurrection with his ascension,
Through the strength of his descent for the Judgment Day.

I arise today
Through the strength of the love of Cherubim,
In obedience of angels,
In the service of archangels,
In hope of resurrection to meet with reward,
In prayers of patriarchs,
In predictions of prophets,
In preaching of apostles,
In faith of confessors,
In innocence of holy virgins,
In deeds of righteous men.

I arise today
Through the strength of heaven:
Light of sun,
Radiance of moon,
Splendor of fire,
Speed of lightning,
Swiftness of wind,
Depth of sea,
Stability of earth,
Firmness of rock.

I arise today
Through God’s strength to pilot me:
God’s might to uphold me,
God’s wisdom to guide me,
God’s eye to look before me,
God’s ear to hear me,
God’s word to speak for me,
God’s hand to guard me,
God’s way to lie before me,
God’s shield to protect me,
God’s host to save me
From snares of demons,
From temptations of vices,
From everyone who shall wish me ill,
Afar and anear,
Alone and in multitude.

I summon today all these powers between me and those evils,
Against every cruel merciless power that may oppose my body and soul,
Against incantations of false prophets,
Against black laws of pagandom
Against false laws of heretics,
Against craft of idolatry,
Against spells of witches and smiths and wizards,
Against every knowledge that corrupts man’s body and soul.

Christ to shield me today
Against poison, against burning,
Against drowning, against wounding,
So that there may come to me abundance of reward.
Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down, Christ when I arise,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.

I arise today
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,
Through belief in the threeness,
Through confession of the oneness,
Of the Creator of Creation.

Amen.

I pray this prayer with fervency today

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How about this one… If you are like me and tend to define yourself by what you do, why not do less?

Shock.  Faint.  I can hear you fall on the floor from here.  “But I love what I do.”  Me too.  But just because you CAN do something doesn’t always mean you SHOULD.

I understand this is one of those “swing the pendulum really far the other way” type approaches.  I know this because even though I think it’s a good idea, at the end of the day I haven’t decreased what I am doing.  This has become a must for me because the “to do” list never goes away.  It will never go away.

Part of me takes great comfort in having things to do.  Part of me longs for the freedom to just live (and btw, do along the way).  Heck, when I really think about it, half the things I do aren’t all that significant anyway.

I submit the following piece of scripture which haunts me, partially because I know it is true and has the potential to be liberating.  Partially because it pierces me for the truth it speaks of my own heart:

What do you benefit if you gain the whole world, but lose your own soul?  Is anything worth more than your soul? Matthew 16:26

Is anything worth more than your soul?  What is the cost of doing everything you do (and most of us are far from “gaining the whole world” through our many efforts)?  Is it worth it?

Undoing the do-er #1: Do less.

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As per popular request (well, it was only one person, but they requested strongly), I am finally getting around to posting something of substance from my recent solitude retreat…

So, pretty much everyone knows I am a “do” machine.  In some ways, it’s ok - it’s how I am wired.  In some other ways, it’s a sickness, driving me to always set to task, sometimes simply to accomplish ANYTHING.  As I’ve wrestled with separating myself from what I do, I have come to learn a lot about myself.  One thing I have come to realize is that I desire to not define myself by what I do.  Rather, I want what I do to flow from who I am.  See the important distinction?

Henri Nouwen says that believing “I am what I do” is one of the three main things that keeps us from believing we are God’s beloved.  So, instead of accepting that God loves us, we strive to prove and earn God’s love by accomplishing for His sake.

Oddly, I don’t believe this lie because of what anyone else says.  It’s not that I hear friends, family, or coworkers telling me i must DO.  No, it is ME that says that - much more difficult to counteract!  And, I logically know this isn’t true.  But, the untruth lies embedded deep in my heart, resistant to being rooted out.

So dear readers, what do I do?  How can I embrace the truth that I am God’s beloved simply because He loves me?   I need not earn this love.  I don’t have to prove my “lovability” - to God or anyone else.  I have some thoughts, which I will share.  But waht would you suggest?  Again, I don’t need Bible verses.  I know those - at least in my mind

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