I have a number of things I have half-written recently.  These include insightful cultural observations, humorous anecdotes, heart-warming family moments, what I’m learning, what we’ve been up to, and updates on what’s next for us.  I really want to get a bunch of these posts/articles/emails finished because they are important to me (and I think to many of you).  But…

• I usually have my best ideas either in the shower or at the gym – both places where I can’t write anything down as it crosses heart or mind
• I have talked about aspects of all of these with enough people that I don’t want to sit down and recap for everyone else
• I can be a bit of an idealist/perfectionist, so I want to consider every angle and put in every thought related to what I am writing about
• I’ve been struggling to sit and write – too many other things to do!
• I only have self-imposed deadlines, so it is easy to keep putting them off

BUT, I  want to get some of these off my to-do list AND really do need to get some of this on paper – for my sake and yours!  So, you can help me, dear reader, by sending me a message/email/comment along the lines of, “I would really like to hear about…” or “what was that thing you mentioned related to…”  Yes, I am asking for a bit of external motivation

thank you!

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I’m learning to live better in the time/space between… aka “now.”  This is a strange place for me.  I tend to clarify and plan for what is ahead, then move toward that.  “Without a vision, the people perish.”  Generally, this is an acceptable practice.  However, I find that I can be too focused on what lies ahead, ignoring or minimizing the present (especially when it doesn’t fit with the future I see).  Further, it is easy for people to become secondary to plans.  Never my intention, but too common when I get so focused on the future that  achieving it becomes my only aim.

Part of what makes my sabbatical so good for me is the necessity to live in the now.  Yes, this time will end and we will move into the next season soon enough.  And yes, we will have to do certain things – even make a few plans – to begin the next adventure.  But for now, I am living where I am.  Spending lots of times with my wife and kids.  Seeing friends.  Reading.  Resting.  Getting caught up.  I believe all this and more will indeed prepare me for what’s next.  But I’m not doing all this SIMPLY TO GET READY, as if this is only a means to an end.  It is all good for what it is.

Hear me – I’m not just biding my time or waiting until something better comes along.  I am enjoying each day for what it is.  True, it’s not my dream place or situation.  But there is so much I CAN enjoy.  I am reminded of when Jesus ascended to heaven in Acts 1 and his disciples were looking into the sky where he had disappeared.  Two men in white (angels?) appeared to them and said, “men of Galilee, why do you stand here looking into the sky?”  In other words, get on with life.  Not because Jesus isn’t coming back.  He is.  But there’s a lot of life to be had in the meantime.  Don’t just wait around for the future to arrive.

Every day matters:

• a habit can change
• a word can lift someone’s spirits
• an accident can be prevented
• something big can be accomplished
• decisions can be made that affect everything else
• a million moments take place that will never come again

God wants us to live now.  Yes, there’s forever too.  But it doesn’t start when we die.  It’s starts now.

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Doing anything new with the start of 2010?  On one level, I am looking at this year as an opportunity to start everything new…. moving to a new city, loving my wife and children as if for the first time, new ministry.  But on the very specific level, I am committing to read the Bible through again during the year.

I am severely restricting the making of new plans for my life because I generally do that too much.  I make plans.  I have sets of plans, often overlapping.  I have so many plans that I take a stab at several and succeed at few.  And they are all good plans!  Then I feel bad that I am not following through with all my good plans…

Furthermore, I am realizing how much I lean toward always adding new things, never stopping negative things.  I have a friend who says that all of life is starting some things while stopping others.  The Bible describes this as putting off and putting on (Ephesians 4).  I like the putting on part – fits with planning.  Problem is, you can’t keep adding and adding without making room AND getting rid of the stuff you don’t want.  It’s like having a bucket with some sediment in the bottom, and thinking that if you keep adding more and more of what you want, it will push the bad stuff out.  It doesn’t work that way though!  You have to get that crap out – my mechanic calls this a system flush.  You can’t just keep adding radiator fluid.  At some point, you have to clean out the whole system to eliminate the dregs.

I know this, but I don’t do it enough.  I need to.  In a way, this is one of the things God is doing in my life during this sabbatical – helping me clean out all the junk.  Not just adding new good stuff, but doing the hard work of rooting/tearing out what needs to go.  Sometimes painful – yes.  But cleansing and good.  I think this is one aspect of “working out your salvation” as the Apostle Paul calls it (Philippians 2).  There is work to be done – work of making ourselves available to our loving God to change us.  And often this change means getting rid of the things that get between us, Him, and our destiny.

I see it with my children more easily than myself.  I can see what they need to stop doing in order to start doing the better thing.  I am learning to better identify this in myself, and respond to others who help me to do the same.  I am sad that this doesn’t come more naturally for me, or that I don’t more readily embrace the input of others.  God has put so many people into my life that can aid in the process, and I still seem to resist at times.  But I am growing.

I am also facing the disconcerting (frightening?) truth that the great joy in life I have always craved doesn’t come through my schemes, but through a much more simple, humble, unassuming life.  This would seem to require cleaning house, wouldn’t it?  So for now, this is what I am committed to.  Yes, God has put a few pictures into my mind, and I am excited about what is ahead.  But I am holding these loosely and avoiding working out all the specifics…. at least for now

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Due to my self-imposed ban on new book purchases and my family’s voracious reading appetite and therefore constant trips to the library, I decided to look up some books from my Amazon wish list on the Fresno County Public Library’s website.  I scored on this one – It’s Really All About God: Reflections of a Muslim Atheist Jewish Christian by Samir Selmanovic.  This book was published in September 2009 and I just got to read it for free from the library!  I have to tell you, I liked it so much I am going to buy it.

I will spare you a book-report-style summary except to say the book relates the author’s journey of faith, focusing especially on family, culture (he is originally from Croatia), and religion.  Each of these are significant and Selmanovic weaves these throughout his book so well that I can only ask that you read the book to hear his heart for and in each.  We also find the postmodern pillars of the call to embrace God and honestly face our uncertainty at the same time, not making our own religion an idol in place of the God our religion follows, and the value each religion can bring when we enter into meaningful dialogue.  While these are no longer revolutionary ideas to me, the author does a good job of providing relevant story and insight to these fundamental concepts.  You’ll have to read the book for all this good stuff.

The 2 parts that I DO want to talk more about are areas that have challenged my own heart.

The first is a fundamental question to my faith (and I suppose all others), but one that we spend too little time attending to, or answer too quickly.  Q: What was Jesus promising to his followers?  If you’ve been involved in this Christianity thing for a while, you recognize that your answer to this question might differ from what you first believed (or were taught.  When you read Jesus, he talks about being without a home, seeing disruption in the state of our relationships, being persecuted…The author says it this way of Jesus… “Follow me and you might be happy – or you might not.  Follow me and you might be empowered – or you might not.  Follow me and you might have the answers – or you might not.  Follow me and you might be better off – or you might not.  If you follow me you might be worse off in every way you use to measure life.  Follow me nevertheless.  Because I have an offer that is worth giving up everything you have” (p. 210).  My experience would agree with Selmonovic’s reading of Jesus’ call.  What does Jesus say we will get from following him?  Learning to love well.

Would you trade everything in exchange for learning to love?  I am haunted by this question for several reasons.  First, I do not love as well as I would like.  If that is the point, what have I been doing instead?  Not that doing it perfectly is the validation, but it should at least be a main focus.  Loving God, loving my wife, my kids, those I am responsible for, those I work with, the needy right in front of me.  There is no shortage of opportunity!  Do I see each person as an opportunity to learn to love? AND, am I helping others in the same pursuit?  Are my means of discipleship, training, mentoring, or simply relating actually helping others learn to love well????

I want this to be true – more true of my life.  I feel like I am on this path, especially right now during our time of Sabbatical.  What does it mean to remain on this path regardless of place, job, or other responsibilities?  What I love about this call is that it deals with life now.  My focus is not on a reward that comes later.  Rather, it has affect on my life, and the lives of others, now.  I need this.

The second part of the book that relates quite a bit to some of what God is teaching me concerns how we go about “doing.”  This is very significant to me as I learn to separate my sense of value, being loved, and identity from what I accomplish.  In a sense, it’s basic and I would espouse and teach that.  But I am only BEGINNING to truly believe and live by this truth.  The author, also a vocational minister, relates that ever since becoming a Christian, he has been taught to give, love, minister, care.  This is what we are supposed to do, right?  So, he asks, why isn’t this working?  “Since we have been teaching and acting in our Christian churches to love others and to organize others and to organize our lives to love others, how curious, I thought, that polls report that non-Christians perceive Christians as not loving!  How can that possibly be?” (p. 240).  His answer speaks right to me.  We don’t really love because we don’t know how to receive.  In other words, we are not willing to let others affect us, especially in areas (like about God) that matter.  We like to give because givers are in control.  We bless because blessers are in control.  “To receive, on the other hand, means to lose something.  Everyone wants to teach and no one wants to learn.”

For me, I can only be in a position to receive when I don’t equate my value with what I do.  How could I?  If what I know, accomplish, and teach is what gives me my identity, how could I possibly take myself out of the driver’s seat?  And so, as I am learning (again) who I am (and am not), I can be with you and just be.  I can hear.  I can learn.  I can change.  Heck, I can RELATE without trying to fix you.  I want that, and am pretty sure that you do too.  So, when I am with you, I give you permission to check that.  Am I with you, or just trying to “help” you?  I feel like God is really teaching/changing me.  I hope you experience me more this way and invite you to let me know how I am doing.

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A little something for Christmas Eve/Day.  You can use this simple reflection by yourself or with friends.

What you need

• 4 candles that are the same color (for the four weeks of Advent’s expectation of Jesus), 1 candle that is a different color (representing Christ, the fulfillment)

Light all of the candles.  Our focus this time is on the center candle, differently colored to represent that Christ (the one we have been anticipating) has come. Keep them lit throughout your time, and you may re-light them throughout the week if you set aside special time for prayer.
Bonus points if you can keep them in the same space over the next weeks, preferably somewhere you can see them and be reminded of your commitment to focus on Jesus this season.

• Some paper and writing/drawing things

Begin

Say a prayer to focus your attention on Jesus and asking Him to meet you during this time.

Read

the story of Jesus’ birth (either Matthew 1: 18-2:18 or Luke 1:26-2:40)
Pause to reflect on the significance of this story for you.

Read

One of Jesus’ descriptions of why he came in Luke 4:16-21.  He is reading from the Isaiah passage we have been looking at during this Advent season.

Draw

a picture of something you are still hoping for, something that is yet unfulfilled this Christmas.
Let this picture serve as symbol of your heart’s cry to God.

Pray

the Lord’s prayer (Matthew 6:9-13/Luke 11:2-4)

Our Father in the heavens,
Holy is your name!
May your Kingdom come into being,
and your will be done,
on earth as it is in the heavens.
Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our debts,
as we are forgiving those with debts against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.

For yours is the kingdom, and power, and glory forever.
Amen!

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Sunday marks the 4th and final Sunday of Advent.  A reading and some thoughts for you.  Enjoy!
(btw, there will be one further meditation for Christmas Eve/Day coming in the next few days…)

Intro

Our last look at Isaiah 61 as we prepare for Jesus’ coming.  We have heard who he will be, what he will do, and how it will affect our lives.  Now, our response: worship.

This week: Sunday, December 20

What you need

• 4 candles that are the same color (for the four weeks of Advent’s expectation of Jesus), 1 candle that is a different color (representing Christ, the fulfillment)

Light all four of the similar candles as you begin.  Three represent the previous weeks.  The other is for this week – week 4.  Keep them lit throughout your time, and you may re-light them throughout the week if you set aside special time for prayer.
Bonus points if you can keep them in the same space over the next weeks, preferably somewhere you can see them and be reminded of your commitment to focus on Jesus this season.

• A few favorite Christmas songs (the Jesus kind, not the jingle bells sort…at least for our purposes here)

Begin

Say a prayer to focus your attention on Jesus and asking Him to meet you during this time.

Sing a favorite Christmas song (even if you aren’t a star singer.  It’s ok, make it

Read Isaiah 61:10-11

Reflect

What a beautiful picture.  Our Messiah did not come to act out some abstract concept of healing.

• Take a moment and picture yourself clothed with salvation.
• Feel God wrapping you in a robe of righteousness.
• You are his beloved!

Look again at verse 11.
I think we are the soil in which God grows this sprout.
Every one of us who lets Jesus be born into our lives are gardens for the Lord’s work.
In us, righteousness and praise spring up among the nations.

Do

Sing another favorite Christmas song (or two) in response.  Worship Jesus and prepare yourself again for his coming.

Pray

• Pray that Jesus would grow in you.
• Pray for those who need Jesus’ salvation.

In the upcoming week

Sing!  Sing all week.  Invite Jesus more and more into your heart.

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I find myself wrestling to accurately describe the rebirth taking place inside me, partially because these changes are unpredictable in how they works themselves out.

Sometimes, this renovation produces a violent internal reaction, coming out a projectile of sickness on myself and those around me.  Yes, it feels better to get it out.  But it still leaves a mess that must be cleaned up. Please forgive…
On other days, the process seems more like sacred incense – fragrantly twirling through the air – delightful aroma to all who walk into the room.  (I prefer this result)

I CAN tell you that this work, like God’s Spirit that provokes it, is indeed mysterious.  Perhaps, ultimately, this is why it is so difficult to describe.  My small words fail to capture the depth of Divine at work.  My limitations to articulate rightfully betray my finiteness.

Some days I see the light at the end of the tunnel.  There is hope, future, promise.  On other days, there is only now – full of joy, pain, tears, and laughter.  Such is this journey.

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Continued reading of Isaiah 61 to focus our attention on Jesus and his coming during this Advent Season.

Intro

Justice & blessing…. which do our heart’s desire?  And God’s heart?

This week: Sunday, December 13

What you need

• 4 candles that are the same color (for the four weeks of Advent’s expectation of Jesus), 1 candle that is a different color (representing Christ, the fulfillment)

Light three of the 4 similar candles as you begin.  Two are for the previous weeks.  The other is for this week – week 3.  Keep them lit throughout your time, and you may re-light them throughout the week if you set aside special time for prayer.
Bonus points if you can keep them in the same space over the next weeks, preferably somewhere you can see them and be reminded of your commitment to focus on Jesus this season.

Begin

Say a prayer to focus your attention on Jesus and asking Him to meet you during this time.

Read: Isaiah 61:8-9

Think

The progression of this passage is very important:

• God’s Promised One comes to bring healing and salvation (verses 1-3),
• those who receive this blessing respond – bearing fruit from the touch of the Messiah (verses 4-7),

Notice, God is the initiator.  Why?  Because God loves justice and hates robbery & iniquity.
He sends the Anointed One to make things right.
But He doesn’t stop with eliminating what is wrong (demonstrated so well in verses 1-3).
He ultimately makes things right by establishes an everlasting covenant with His people
This covenant produces blessing that is evident to all the nations.

We all want this.  But what happens first?  Jesus makes right that which is wrong.  Evil must be rooted out to produce the good soil needed for God’s blessing.

Do

Think about a specific time God made something right.  This could be with you personally, or perhaps a person or situation you are familiar with.
What was the iniquity?  How was it made right?  It is good to remember the ways Jesus has made things right!

Pray

Pray for a situation you know or are experiencing that is unjust.  God loves justice, so ask Him to make it right (even if you don’t know what it will take).
Pray God’s blessing and presence in this situation.  Not only must wrong be eliminated, but it must be replaced with right.

In the upcoming week

• Share the story of God faithfully righting a wrong.  We don’t hear enough of these stories.  Let this season be a good time to remember Jesus coming this way.
• Continue to pray for God’s justice and blessing where it is needed.  Jesus, as we remember you coming, I ask you to come to….

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Hope realized.  An advent meditation for this upcoming Sunday (Advent week #2) based on Isaiah 61:4-7.  Just some simple thoughts on our own hope for healing, looking forward to the celebration of Jesus’ birth…

Intro

Continuing with our preparation for Christ’s coming, we return to Isaiah 61 – a prophetic passage of scripture describing the Messiah and his mission.  May we align our hopes and expectations with the heart of God.

This week: Sunday, December 6

What you need

• 4 candles that are the same color (for the four weeks of Advent’s expectation of Jesus), 1 candle that is a different color (representing Christ, the fulfillment)

Light two of the 4 similar candles as you begin.  One is for last week.  The other is for this week – week 2.  Keep them lit throughout your time, and you may re-light them throughout the week if you set aside special time for prayer.
Bonus points if you can keep them in the same space over the next weeks, preferably somewhere you can see them and be reminded of your commitment to focus on Jesus this season.

• Access to music.  You will be choosing and listening to a song for this meditation and throughout the week.

Begin

Say a prayer to focus your attention on Jesus and asking Him to meet you during this time.

Read: Isaiah 61:4-7

Re-read Isaiah 61:1-3 for context
Slowly read (and/or read several times) Isaiah 61:4-7
If you prefer, you may read all of Isaiah 61, then re-read/focus on verses 4-7

Think

Imagine YOURSELF as one mentioned in verses 1-3.

• What would you hope the Messiah’s coming would change in your life?
• Verses 4-7 may not be the particular longings of our heart, but they signal the concrete, significant change brought about by God’s Promised One.

Notice too that those touched by the Messiah respond in various actions as a result.

• What would you do with your healing?

Do

Find a song that captures some of what you hope for.  Maybe it shows the change you desire.  Maybe it reflects the life of a healed one.  There is no need for there to be resolution, or even that it be a “Christian” song.  The point is that you resonate with the longing.

Pray

Listen to this song and let it be a prayer, asking God for these desires of your heart.
Take as long as you need.
You can also use this time for any other special prayers you have right now.

In the upcoming week

Play this song once a day, allowing it to take you to a prayerful place.  Perhaps God will speak to you differently as the week goes on.
You might set aside a specific time each day for these special Advent prayers.

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